Believe, Imagine, Dream

Day 3 of driving back and forth from San Francisco. I was tired when I drove up there but it just got worse as the day went on. Not only were my eyes tired because of wearing contacts but pain started to kick in a bit during the day because we sit on these uncomfortable chairs for long periods of time. Thank God it wasn’t too bad and even now, it’s not terrible. My left hip is the main culprit right now. I get a sharp kind of pain whenever I stand up or walk up a step. 

I drank the Tibetan Baicao tea and 3 cups of water. I’ll drink a bunch more water, too, to help flush my system. I wish that I could just drink the tea in the morning but I can’t be leaving the training room every 15-30 minutes to pee, so I’ll have to sacrifice some sleep, I guess. I did it before on Tuesday night to prepare for Wednesday and I was totally fine, so I’m sure I’ll be alright. I need to be able to move because we’re walking to another office and back tomorrow and I don’t want to lag behind everyone else. I just wish I had office shoes that were super comfortable. I guess I’ll just put bandaids on pressure points and hope that helps.

I found out today that the earliest I’d start in my home office is June 25th and the latest is July 2nd. Just one week difference, but I hope and pray that I get to start there on the 25th. My friend said I could stay with her up there beginning the 20th, but I think it might be a pain to have to bring all my stuff for the entire week. I don’t know. We’ll see what happens. 

My brain is fried from today. So much information!

Man. I really need to get more creative with my blog titles. Whatever. 

Yesterday was great! They kind of eased us into everything. At one point, we essentially went speedwalking for about an hour checking out 3 of the 8 facilities they have in San Francisco. I kept up for the first 2 offices, but then totally lagged behind for the last office. It was alright, though, because one of the girl’s new shoes cut into the back of her foot and she was bleeding, which made her walk slower. Terrible, but secretly good for me. LOL

I’m going to email my manager tomorrow and tell her about how I can’t pick up heavy boxes b/c of the arthritis. The trainer yesterday seemed really great about it and told me to definitely email my manager. Hopefully I prove myself in other ways. I still have a bit of anxiety about that because of how I was treated at my last office job. My coworkers and even most of the managers were great, but the head woman was not (understatement of the year). 

However, I found out yesterday that they only hire 1/100 people and they called us the 1%! Thank God they didn’t tell us that at any point during the hiring process, because I might have freaked. I didn’t know it was that hard to get hired there! Insanity.

18 more days of driving back and forth from San Francisco. It was difficult getting out of the city because of the Giants game, and there’s another game today, but hopefully I’ve figured out how to sort of get around it.

It’s my first day of training today and I wish I could say that I got a proper night’s sleep, but I woke up pretty much every hour starting around 3:15. I gave up when I woke up around 5:16 because I had to be up at 6 anyway. Now I have some time to write this blog as I wait for a decent time to leave.

I calculated the cost, both time and money, it would be to take Cal Train & Light Rail to the training facility, and it’s cheaper to just drive. I would have to leave about 45 minutes earlier just to get to the right train to be there on time and more than an hour earlier on the days I have to be there at 7:30. One of the people said they would reimburse me for estimated transportation costs from Palo Alto to San Francisco, so that’ll cut down on money lost. 

My friend said I could stay with her in SF, but I know that she only has a 1-bedroom apartment and people are staying with her on and off until June 13th. Plus, I have school until June 7th, so I won’t be taking her up on the offer until halfway through training, if at all.

I looked up parking garages near the facility, so hopefully it’s not hard to find!! Wish me luck!

What was supposed to just be brunch with two of my friends turned into my monthly outing. We went to this festival called “Boogie on the Bayou.” No idea why they have it now, nowhere close to Mardi Gras, but it was fun nonetheless. Good food. Lots of tents with cool stuff to buy (which I totally spent more money than I should’ve). I bought a cool necklace with natural stones that protect my energy because people keep telling me that I soak up other people’s energy and earrings to match. I also bought a custom toe ring with elephants on it! I love it. It’s super comfortable and it won’t fall off. 

At one point, a New Orleans, Mardi Gras type band came through and people passed out beads. I got my friend to grab a picture on my phone: 

I spoke with my acupuncturist about my concerns about how the pain seemed to be worsening as I have to drink my tea every other day now. He told me it was because my body is waking up as he’s opening up all the channels. He also has been doing more intense sessions now as I can handle it, meaning, the needles hurt when they go in. He tends to go the gentle route with newer patients unless he’s sure they can handle it. I thought getting needles in my toe knuckles hurt, but then yesterday, he put one in the center of my wrist. It shocked me going in and when he pulled it out. It was the weirdest feeling and is hard to describe, but what was interesting was what was happening while I was lying there. My middle finger began twitching about halfway through for maybe a minute and places on my arm would get hot and then cool down. It was pretty cool.

At the end, the doctor was pulling the needles out and told me that I soak up a lot of his chi. That’s not the first time I’ve heard that. When I’ve gone for energy healing, I’ve heard from several independent sources that I pull in a lot of people’s energy which is part of the problem. Now, I realize that all this energy talk may be a bit woo-woo for some of you and I completely understand. I used to feel that way until it actually worked for me. It’s crazy.

This is going to be a bit of a ranty + woe is me post, so feel free to skip it.

Yesterday, I was so happy, because I stayed on the bike longer and didn’t feel negative effects, until last night. About 8 hours after exercising, my hips and shoulders started to hurt. I kept getting up, moving, and drinking a crapload of water, but this morning, I’m paying for it. I came down the stairs and drank my tea right away. I’m wearing a faded, loose, inappropriate for the outside world, dress at the moment because even putting on sweats and a shirt seemed too painful.

They say that I need to keep moving and work through the pain. I do that, and this happens. I don’t want to drink my tea every other day. I’d like to think this is happening, because I’m getting stronger and detoxing, but I’m still scared. How am I supposed to function on my Korea trip if this crap is happening constantly? How am I supposed to function in my full-time job?

Today is a good day for this crap to happen, because all I have today is school in about 6.5 hours. I have time to pee out whatever is causing me extra pain. I’m just so tired of this nonsense.

My mom is heading to Texas tomorrow for her aunt’s funeral and will be back for Mother’s Day. She wanted to cook dinner herself and then my sister-in-law offered to cook instead. Those crazy women are both mothers! There will be none of that nonsense. Instead, my siblings and I are going to cook for both of them. On the menu is barbecued salmon and potato salad. We decided on fruit salad for dessert but are having trouble thinking of which vegetable would be best. I was thinking asparagus, but we’re not sure.

We usually go for a picnic at the beach on Mother’s Day, but since my mom won’t be back until noon on Sunday, we figure we’ll just stay home this year.

I have many reasons to be grateful for the mom I have. One of the many is that she’s a nurse and is so supportive of me through my immune system and pain issues. She can be a pain in the ass about them, too, when she gets scared, but she’s always willing to help me when it comes to natural treatments. She also cooks me special food so that I can stay on my strict diet. I love her so much.

Here’s a picture of me from when I was learning how to walk with my mom and her huge hair at the time. ;-)

I got offered both jobs and decided to go with the admin job because there’s more responsibility and more opportunity for growth in the company. Plus, when I’m in my final year of school and looking for an internship, it might be easier to find something through this company.

I feel bad for having to decline the offer from the company that works with developmentally disabled adults because they were so nice and offered me the highest starting rate, but I need to do what’s best for me. So, I start on May 29th. I’ll be driving up to SF for a month’s worth of training and then I begin at my normal job site. I was having a hard time identifying what my gut was telling me until I realized that guilt was clouding my decision-making. I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I do. I knew I made the right decision by how excited I got when the job I truly wanted called me today. 

I also told a friend from high school about this new job and I hope she applies for it, because then we can work together! She’s awesome and deserves a break. Now I just have to concentrate on finishing my schoolwork, b/c at least 2 hours of everyday will be spent driving. I should just buckle down and get everything done.